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“Who are you?” asks the graffiti artist.
What would be your answer?
Would it be the list of labels that describe your important relationships? Wife, mother, daughter, sister, grandmother, aunt, cousin, niece, friend? Would it be in terms of your education and career? Straight-A student, college graduate, systems analyst, graphic designer, retiree?
I have never been a person blessed with great self-awareness. At age 55, you would think I would have a ready answer to this simple query.
And yet – this question, scrawled in red paint on weathered wood, abandoned to weather and rust, pulled me up short.
Who am I?
I have been given a great gift – retirement at an early age. And with that gift, I now have the time to pursue my life, within certain financial restraints, in a way that makes me happy.
Am I making the most of that gift? Am I using this time to truly learn who I am, what makes me happy, what makes my heart sing?
Or am I filling my life with busy-ness which only distracts me from being here in the moment, discovering the true me? The me without labels, without agendas, the me in the here and now?
I do know that photography is critical in connecting to who I am and who I want to be. My guide on this journey to self-awareness.
Helping me ask the right questions. Teaching me to listen for the answers.
Searching for “me”; connecting to my heart.
Linking with Photo-Heart Connection
32 Comments
I love this. I think you’re right that when we’re first asked that question our instinct is to describe ourself in terms of the readily available labels. Truthfully I still don’t know who I am but oddly I’m kind of ok with that.
02 Mar 2012 07:03 am Kathryn Dyche Dechairo (@Twitter)
Kathryn - labels are easy. They come readily to mind and describe the roles we play and the relationships we treasure. I like that you are okay with the not knowing. Perhaps I can be okay with my own "not knowing".
03 Mar 2012 10:03 am Brenda
Isn’t it funny that question? I don’t usually answer it with a label, I answer it with “I don’t know”….which is likely as truthful as it gets. I love that you found this question. Words left almost always call to me. Recently I’ve started to be more mindful of what those I choose to capture-why I do. I think they reflect a mood I’m in or maybe they say something that makes me laugh or something I find odd. Don’t know.
As always, I enjoy what you capture. This shot is so well composed.
Hope you’re feeling well today…no cavities, right?
02 Mar 2012 08:03 am Susan (@Twitter)
Susan - yes, the question is both funny and hard. I have found it comforting to find that so many of my friends, people who seem to have it "all together", struggle with answering this question as well. I'm not alone! How encouraging.
And yes, other than remembering that I actually HATE jello, everything went fine. Repeat again in 10 years.
03 Mar 2012 10:03 am Brenda
I really enjoyed reading your words and viewing this image, Brenda. Such an important question, and so difficult to answer.
02 Mar 2012 09:03 am Deborah (@Twitter)
Deb - you would think the answer would be easy, wouldn't you? Perhaps that is where the difficulty lies - the easy questions require hard answers.
03 Mar 2012 10:03 am Brenda
Another thought provoking post! Hey, I am 65, and still trying to figure it out. I think our self concepts evolve over time, and that is healthy. We have to adjust to all the changes around us, but still keep our core convictions — that’s the challenge.
02 Mar 2012 10:03 am Gina (@Twitter)
Gina - What has been eye-opening for me - it seems everyone struggles with the answer to this question. I thought it was just me - that I was lacking some vital self-awareness. But as you have so wiesly point out, we change and evolve over time - so knowing ourselves is a process.
03 Mar 2012 10:03 am Brenda
Good question! I usually answer with all those labels and feel OK about that, because I choose the labels that have meaning for me: human being, woman, mother, wife, sister, friend, photographer, gardener, reader, introvert. Then I go to the characteristics I have–integrity, joy, love, quick to anger, insecurity, fears, kindness, curiosity, etc. I know myself pretty well.
My current question is: how to make a positive impact on the world withing the confines of who I am? I want to do more to improve the world than I a currently doing, yet, I have limited time and energy.
Thank you for raising an important question.
02 Mar 2012 10:03 am anita (@Twitter)
Anita - I know exactly what you mean. When I retired, I felt a strong call to give back - that it was time to volunteer, do something positive; make a small difference in the world. I was so very lucky to connect with Nest - an opportunity for me to use my graphic design skills assisting an organization that is all about changing women's lives. It is small what I do - and I do it from the comfort of my living room - but it is something positive. And I can proudly wear another label - volunteer.
03 Mar 2012 10:03 am Brenda
I failed to include some important categories in my self-labeling: atheist, Quaker, pacifist, ex-homeschooling mom.
(I commented on your flickr blog under the name Tango Sherrill as I was using my sister’s computer.)
02 Mar 2012 11:03 am anita (@Twitter)
Fabulous image and I love your words. I’ve never been very keen on labels but that hasn’t help me answer this question either! You raise some really interesting points. And I completely agree with your conclusion that photography is critical in connecting me to who I am and who I want to be too. Love this photo-heart connection, so much to think about! Happy weekend.
02 Mar 2012 02:03 pm Becs (@Twitter)
Becs - labels are tricky. They merely describe the surface of who we are, don't they? And each of us inhabit those same labels - wife, mother, daughter, etc - in our own unique ways. We are so much more than our labels and the roles we play.
03 Mar 2012 10:03 am Brenda
I really love this! It can be so interesting how we define ourselves- there are so many labels that fit. I think that it is important to reflect on our lives without thinking about the labels & make sure that we’re making the most of whatever our situation.
02 Mar 2012 04:03 pm Leanne (@Twitter)
Leanne - perhaps we can learn more about ourselves by investigating the labels that we apply. And that is the way the labels help us see beyond - by starting there, we delve into the meaning behind the roles we play and leave behind those which don't support our growth.
03 Mar 2012 10:03 am Brenda
An excellent question for sure! And I’m betting your answer today is much different than it was 30, 20, or even just a year or two ago when you working. Beyond that, I wonder if there’s ever an absolute answer to that question because we are constantly influenced and changed by both the mundane and dramatic of our lives.
02 Mar 2012 04:03 pm Wanda (@Twitter)
Wanda - excellent point! The 55-year old me is certainly different from the me that existed at any other point in my life. This me has been changed by all that has come before. And will be changed again by all that is yet to come.
03 Mar 2012 10:03 am Brenda
Brenda, this is a truly thoughtful photo-heart connection.
I so enjoyed reading this post.
Sending you wishes for a wonderful weekend!
02 Mar 2012 06:03 pm lisa (@Twitter)
Brenda, this is a very thought-provoking photo-heart connection. It’s not such a simple query, really. Or, at least, it doesn’t have a simple answer. I am who I am, but it’s not something I can put a few tidy labels on. After all, it’s taken a lifetime to become the “me” I am today, and I will be a little bit different “me” tomorrow. At least I hope so.
I like this image – that rusty column that sort of opens up towards the top like a flower, weather-beaten, dented, but still standing upright. I can relate!
02 Mar 2012 09:03 pm Lee (@Twitter)
Lee - yes, I am seeing now that this self-awareness is not a finite thing but a process - a daily, hourly, minute-by-minute process of changing and growing. And yes, I can relate to rusty columns :)
03 Mar 2012 10:03 am Brenda
Your image and your words have certainly made me stop and thing! It makes me wonder about the person who wrote this, were they asking the question of themself or some else? And, is there really an answer to that question? Each moment and day of our lives changes who we are. I think I am…just me right at this moment!!
02 Mar 2012 10:03 pm Cathy H. (@Twitter)
Cathy - perhaps just bringing up the question to ponder is the important part. To be aware of who we are, as you say, right at this moment.
03 Mar 2012 12:03 pm Brenda
This brings tears to my eyes, Brenda. This is touchingly beautiful, and speaks powerfully to my heart. It’s a powerful question..and the answer is part mystery, part journey, part state of mind…And, like you, photography has become central to discovering some answers. Thanks for a wonderful post to take us into the weekend!
02 Mar 2012 11:03 pm Juli (@Twitter)
Juli - I am glad that you were touched by my questioning. I am grateful to know that so many others still seek the answer to this question for themselves - it's good to know that I am not alone in the search.
03 Mar 2012 12:03 pm Brenda
Hmmmm…if only I could answer that infinitely wise question here in a simple ‘comment block’!!! What a great find….and beautiful soul-revealing post. Isn’t life about forever ‘becoming’???
03 Mar 2012 07:03 am Marcie (@Twitter)
Marcie - I am SO disappointed that you are unable to clear up this mystery in comment format :) But in a way you did - "forever becoming" - perhaps it is that simple.
03 Mar 2012 12:03 pm Brenda
A wonderful photo and heart connection Brenda! Amazing how a simple phrase can stop us in our tracks like that. How wonderful to be given the gift of time, so that you can figure out who you are. I have a little mantra that I think will hold true for you, with your connection to your photography, “My photos will show me the way. They always do.” Continuing the photo-heart connection will play into discovering who you are, I have no doubt.
03 Mar 2012 10:03 am Kat Sloma (@Twitter)
Kat - thanks for providing the forum and opportunity to explore these questions and issues. I have learned much just by putting the question out there and reading the comments of my fellow artists and photographers.
03 Mar 2012 12:03 pm Brenda
I was instantly drawn to the photo, the urban/grit feel just yanked me right in. Your missive is perfect, so thought provoking. I am a tad older than you and have yet to grow up, let alone find out who I am.
03 Mar 2012 04:03 pm La Principessa Errante (@PQPP3)
I had to smile - at the fact that you still haven't grown up yet. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I'm an adult and therefore, should act accordingly.
03 Mar 2012 05:03 pm Brenda
Ah, yes…who are you? A question for you and me and the ages… Nicely captured. I rather like the broken, rusty pole in the foreground — adds a certain quality to the photo, a reminder to not delay in answering.
07 Mar 2012 02:03 pm Bo Mackison (@bo_mackison)
I think the labels come to mind first — and work, to an extent — because the question asks “Who are you?” — in the present, the now of the “are”. What that leaves out is the constant changes, the process, the pursuit. The becoming.
22 Mar 2012 05:03 pm Lisa Ahn (@Twitter)
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